Chloe Has Arrived
Katie Dean, September 05 2023
I've been a little missing in action lately but for good reason. 😍 If you follow along on the Katie Dean Jewelry socials you may or may not already know that my husband and I welcomed our greatest creation, our beautiful daughter -- Chloe Olivia Tam, born on June 20th at 4 lbs 9 oz! She is the light of our life and we are so in love with her.
Being a Mom is such an adventure, it's amazing and challenging and incredible all at the same time! As a small business owner I knew I needed to keep my jewelry biz going while my husband and I got used to life as a family of three but I also thought that newborns mainly just slept and ate so I'd be back to work in no time... Ha! If you're a Mom, you already know that my plan to 'get right back to it' did not happen. Everyone is different of course but I truly didn't realize what a full time job being a mom is. When I was pregnant I focused almost exclusively on getting educated on how to have a healthy pregnancy and delivery, plus nesting--of course! (Who doesn't love decorating a nursery?!) But I didn't spend that much time finding out what life is like with a newborn.
After talking with my other new first-time Mama friends I found out this is pretty common. Getting the details on what life is like once the baby comes wasn't something they focused on either! So as a reminder to myself and to help other Mama's, I'm writing out a few things that I have learned since becoming a Mom that I wish I would have known before and wanted to share.
1. First up: prepare for your baby to have gas! This may sound very silly but gas was the main thing that made our girl really uncomfortable. All babies are different, and believe me, I hope you don't have to deal with gas but I would be prepared! Organic gripe water worked well for us for the first month but after that Chloe would typically spit it up so we switched to gas drops but they weren't a sure thing either. We also used Windis, which saved us a few times!! I said I would never use one but when we got desperate and nothing else worked, the Windi was a miracle. Have it on hand just in case. The biggest and longest lasting solution to the gas was in fact chiropractic work from Mama Bear Chiropractic. They specifically focus on babies and pregnant Mamas and a bunch of my friends with babies went to her and were raving about how well they were doing. Around 2 months we took Chloe and she would visibly relax after the adjustments. She also started sleeping much, much better plus the uncomfortable gas dramatically decreased. I wish we would have started to go to a chiro earlier but just thankful we had friends that encouraged us to go!
2. Second piece of advice: allow people to help you. If you're like me and it's hard to accept help sometimes, get over it, haha! Raising a baby, even an infant that sleeps most of the time, takes a lot of care and attention. I know I felt like I should be able to do it all myself (with my husbands help of course) but you can care for others better if you make sure to take care of yourself. Be willing to take up your friends and families offers to bring food over, help you with the dishes, hold your baby so you can sleep more, etc. The saying "it takes a village" is 100% truth! So don't resist it.
3. Lastly, allow yourself to take naps with your newborn and be willing to give up any expectations of a "schedule" in the first 3 months... at least. "The infant cuddles are so yummy! So just enjoy it!" I can't tell you how many people told me to enjoy it but it in the early days I was so set on getting us into a "routine" that it made it hard to enjoy all the snuggles. Hate to be the one to break it to you but there is no such thing as a routine with a newborn other than reading their sleepy cues and making sure you let them snooze when they are ready. Yes, we did see similar patterns pop up with Chloe but nothing sticks for that long when they are so young. It may be that 5 days that week she would go to sleep around 7pm but then the next week it was 9pm and she was waking up every 45 mins until she got into a deep sleep... yup! I'm not a 'let them cry it out' mom so for me this was hard because I felt like I wasn't getting any time to myself. I would get used to being able to do things in the evening and then all the sudden I had no evening free time. When I was expecting that time to be 'for me' I would get a bit upset when I didn't have it and that was challenging--I was more stressed than enjoying the newborn phase. When I made the conscious decision stop having expectations around a sleep schedule that's when I really started to enjoy the newborn phase. Instead of being frustrated when she wouldn't sleep I started looking forward to seeing her up again. It also made me feel better realizing that everything is a phase. It won't last forever. Realizing that is when I could actually chill out and stop trying to control things that were out of my control. A different kind of freedom.
Again, this is just my experience and what made it easier for me. Every baby and Mom are different so you could have a totally different story to tell about your journey but these are just a few of the things I wish I knew going into motherhood.
Oh and a note on breastfeeding: WOW. Talk about a full time job! I'm so glad that Chloe and I are getting in that bonding time and she's getting all the amazing nutrition from breastfeeding but that was another surprise. Having the right set up, like a Boppy pillow, a water bottle and snack within reach and good back support are essential. I still need to remind myself to stretch more due to the hunching aspect of breastfeeding. My body was pretty sore throughout the first 4-5 weeks and still is depending on the day. When you take lack of sleep, carrying a baby around for most of the day and then add in breastfeeding every two hours, it's to be expected but don't be shy, book yourself that massage or get your partner to give you daily back rubs! Besides stretching, going to the chiropractor and getting massages have been very helpful in helping my body stay healthy with all the extra work its doing.
Ok that's it for now! I hope you like my real life update that goes deeper than that adorable baby pictures posted on social. With all the new responsibility Chloe is still the best gift we've ever received in our life and we cherish every moment with her. It's made my Mama Collection take on a whole new meaning. ❤️
Thanks for all your love and support,
XO, KATIE
p.s. know someone who just became a Mama? Help them celebrate their bundle of joy by gifting them something special from our Mama Collection.